Josh Hatcher's Blog
Monday, October 30, 2006
The Word for Today...
No great spiritual insights today.
I did read in Acts today... It was awesome to see the way God moved
then.. and I know that He wants to move that way today.. if we just let
Him.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Thirsty
10/25/06
My time with God should be daily, but it’s taking me a little time to get there… I’m not assuming I’m going to be “uber-christian” tomorrow, it’s going to take me a little time to institute spiritual disciplines like a strong daily quiet time.
So instead of beat myself up over missing a day, I’m going to keep trudging through.
Today I read in John, when Jesus met with the Samaritan woman at the well. Nobody liked the Samaritan’s much.. stupid half breeds…
But Jesus took some time to talk to this woman… I like to read his words. This Jesus guy, he’s pretty darn cool.
He asks her for some water, and then tells her about the kind of water he will give her.
“People soon become thirsty again after drinking this water. 14 But the water I give them takes away thirst altogether. It becomes a perpetual spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
What?? Jesus, what are you talking about? I feel thirsty all the time… (spiritually speaking) Sometimes I let you quench my thirst, and sometimes I forget or ignore that you are there to quench it….
But even then, that well of water is springing up, and is there to sustain me.. to bring healing to the dried up places…
So after Jesus supernaturally tells this woman something about her life that no one else would know, and she realizes who He is, and tells all her friends…
He tells his buddies that He’s not hungry, because He’s got food.
“My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work. 35 Do you think the work of harvesting will not begin until the summer ends four months from now? Look around you! Vast fields are ripening all around us and are ready now for the harvest. 36 The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike! 37 You know the saying, ‘One person plants and someone else harvests.’ And it’s true. 38 I sent you to harvest where you didn’t plant; others had already done the work, and you will gather the harvest”
So, Jesus, you will give me water that will make sure I never go thirsty… and if I try to be like you, then doing your WILL will nourish me… hmm…
And if I’m feeling MALNOURISHED.. and DEHYDRATED… which I have felt, than something about the way I’m doing things is not your will, right?
God, help me to seek you for fulfillment. Help me to do your will, and to not get distracted by my own needs, desires, wants, and distractions. Speak to me, and show me what I should be doing.
My time with God should be daily, but it’s taking me a little time to get there… I’m not assuming I’m going to be “uber-christian” tomorrow, it’s going to take me a little time to institute spiritual disciplines like a strong daily quiet time.
So instead of beat myself up over missing a day, I’m going to keep trudging through.
Today I read in John, when Jesus met with the Samaritan woman at the well. Nobody liked the Samaritan’s much.. stupid half breeds…
But Jesus took some time to talk to this woman… I like to read his words. This Jesus guy, he’s pretty darn cool.
He asks her for some water, and then tells her about the kind of water he will give her.
“People soon become thirsty again after drinking this water. 14 But the water I give them takes away thirst altogether. It becomes a perpetual spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
What?? Jesus, what are you talking about? I feel thirsty all the time… (spiritually speaking) Sometimes I let you quench my thirst, and sometimes I forget or ignore that you are there to quench it….
But even then, that well of water is springing up, and is there to sustain me.. to bring healing to the dried up places…
So after Jesus supernaturally tells this woman something about her life that no one else would know, and she realizes who He is, and tells all her friends…
He tells his buddies that He’s not hungry, because He’s got food.
“My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work. 35 Do you think the work of harvesting will not begin until the summer ends four months from now? Look around you! Vast fields are ripening all around us and are ready now for the harvest. 36 The harvesters are paid good wages, and the fruit they harvest is people brought to eternal life. What joy awaits both the planter and the harvester alike! 37 You know the saying, ‘One person plants and someone else harvests.’ And it’s true. 38 I sent you to harvest where you didn’t plant; others had already done the work, and you will gather the harvest”
So, Jesus, you will give me water that will make sure I never go thirsty… and if I try to be like you, then doing your WILL will nourish me… hmm…
And if I’m feeling MALNOURISHED.. and DEHYDRATED… which I have felt, than something about the way I’m doing things is not your will, right?
God, help me to seek you for fulfillment. Help me to do your will, and to not get distracted by my own needs, desires, wants, and distractions. Speak to me, and show me what I should be doing.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Digging For Roots
So today, I’m digging for roots.. I’m not liking my mindset..
I was on guard today.. and I watched how many times my mind was sabotaged and assaulted by an army of greedy selfish little thoughts determined to take over the high ground in my head.. and lead me down wicked little rabbit trails…
I lost count, but I was constantly praying, and rebuking those thoughts, (I’m sure many a passerby thought I was strange as I appeared to be talking to myself.)
I want to know why Satan keeps assaulting the same places in me.. and keeps hitting me with the same temptations. Sure, I know it’s because he sees my weak spots But why am I weak in some areas and not in others? Why am I so prone to give in to some things, but anchored down and “un-budged” in others?
So, I’m going to go through some scripture. All these thoughts are raw, like cookie dough. I’m just writing what comes in my head.. the questions, the insights…the wisecracks… so if I sound like a heretic because I don’t have the answers, then just relax. I’m just trying to revisit truth, not reinvent it. I’m trying to look at God’s word and apply it, and all those thoughts that go through my head as I’m figuring it all out are getting written out and “blogged”… why? Because I know that I’m not alone in a desire to get right with God.. I know I’m not the only one who struggles. And I know that my transparency in hashing this out will help someone..
Romans 7
14 The law is good, then. The trouble is not with the law but with me, because I am sold into slavery, with sin as my master. 15 I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. 16 I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 But I can’t help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things.
18 I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I can’t. 19 When I want to do good, I don’t. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. 20 But if I am doing what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it.
21 It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
(NLT)
Allright.. now the greatest Christian leader of all time, except for Jesus of course, is talking my language… Paul’s saying he’s a screw up like me! I like this guy…
I feel like this. It’s like I keep screwing up, and I’m tired of it.. Everything I do to try to clean up my act just doesn’t work!
Let’s keep reading, and see if Paul’s got any solutions….
8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.
No condemnation… okay.. so God still loves me, even though I’ve neglected Him, that’s good…
This stuff about the “power” of the life giving spirit… That’s the stuff that’s been rocking my theological world over the past year. I grew up in church, I’ve been taught the Bible. And somehow, I’ve always felt powerless… like I had a faith in a powerful God, but he’s kept all that power to Himself, to use whenever He thinks it’s appropriate… But I see Jesus telling fisherman and sinners to cast out demons and heal sick people, and raise the dead… that’s POWER… I’m not a “power hungry” guy.. but I could use a dose.. just enough to overcome.
5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. 7 For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. 8 That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.
Yeah… that makes sense.. but how do I get back out of the sinful nature? How do I let the Spirit control my mind? I’ve got free will right? Why do I feel like I have no choice but to sin?
9 But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them are not Christians at all.) 10 Since Christ lives within you, even though your body will die because of sin, your spirit is alive because you have been made right with God. 11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as he raised Christ from the dead, he will give life to your mortal body by this same Spirit living within you.
Ok.. so I’m not controlled by my sinful nature.. but I still have it… I know Jesus is there, I know that I’ve put the Spirit in control, but why do I still screw up?
12 So, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. 13 For if you keep on following it, you will perish. But if through the power of the Holy Spirit you turn from it and its evil deeds, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.
15 So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God’s very own children, adopted into his family—calling him “Father, dear Father.” 16 For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God’s children. 17 And since we are his children, we will share his treasures—for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
We’re making a little more sense now. I don’t HAVE to sin. Before I had Christ I HAD to sin, there was not other option, I was a slave. Now, I am God’s son.
So that’s where I am today. Still no answers to a few of my questions. Why do I sin when I know it’s wrong? Why am I weak in some areas, and strong in others, and how can I strengthen the weak parts.
But what I DO know, is that God is not condemning me. He’s my daddy, and He’s taking me fishing, even though I didn’t clean my room, and I should be grounded. He could ground me, he could spank me, but he’s forgiven me, not because I deserved it, but because he already took the punishment for my sin on himself.
He loves me, and He has given me the tools to live this life the right way. I just have to figure out what they are and how to use them.
I was on guard today.. and I watched how many times my mind was sabotaged and assaulted by an army of greedy selfish little thoughts determined to take over the high ground in my head.. and lead me down wicked little rabbit trails…
I lost count, but I was constantly praying, and rebuking those thoughts, (I’m sure many a passerby thought I was strange as I appeared to be talking to myself.)
I want to know why Satan keeps assaulting the same places in me.. and keeps hitting me with the same temptations. Sure, I know it’s because he sees my weak spots But why am I weak in some areas and not in others? Why am I so prone to give in to some things, but anchored down and “un-budged” in others?
So, I’m going to go through some scripture. All these thoughts are raw, like cookie dough. I’m just writing what comes in my head.. the questions, the insights…the wisecracks… so if I sound like a heretic because I don’t have the answers, then just relax. I’m just trying to revisit truth, not reinvent it. I’m trying to look at God’s word and apply it, and all those thoughts that go through my head as I’m figuring it all out are getting written out and “blogged”… why? Because I know that I’m not alone in a desire to get right with God.. I know I’m not the only one who struggles. And I know that my transparency in hashing this out will help someone..
Romans 7
14 The law is good, then. The trouble is not with the law but with me, because I am sold into slavery, with sin as my master. 15 I don’t understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate. 16 I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong, and my bad conscience shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 But I can’t help myself, because it is sin inside me that makes me do these evil things.
18 I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I can’t. 19 When I want to do good, I don’t. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. 20 But if I am doing what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it.
21 It seems to be a fact of life that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another law at work within me that is at war with my mind. This law wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
(NLT)
Allright.. now the greatest Christian leader of all time, except for Jesus of course, is talking my language… Paul’s saying he’s a screw up like me! I like this guy…
I feel like this. It’s like I keep screwing up, and I’m tired of it.. Everything I do to try to clean up my act just doesn’t work!
Let’s keep reading, and see if Paul’s got any solutions….
8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.
No condemnation… okay.. so God still loves me, even though I’ve neglected Him, that’s good…
This stuff about the “power” of the life giving spirit… That’s the stuff that’s been rocking my theological world over the past year. I grew up in church, I’ve been taught the Bible. And somehow, I’ve always felt powerless… like I had a faith in a powerful God, but he’s kept all that power to Himself, to use whenever He thinks it’s appropriate… But I see Jesus telling fisherman and sinners to cast out demons and heal sick people, and raise the dead… that’s POWER… I’m not a “power hungry” guy.. but I could use a dose.. just enough to overcome.
5 Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. 6 If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. 7 For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will. 8 That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.
Yeah… that makes sense.. but how do I get back out of the sinful nature? How do I let the Spirit control my mind? I’ve got free will right? Why do I feel like I have no choice but to sin?
9 But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them are not Christians at all.) 10 Since Christ lives within you, even though your body will die because of sin, your spirit is alive because you have been made right with God. 11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as he raised Christ from the dead, he will give life to your mortal body by this same Spirit living within you.
Ok.. so I’m not controlled by my sinful nature.. but I still have it… I know Jesus is there, I know that I’ve put the Spirit in control, but why do I still screw up?
12 So, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. 13 For if you keep on following it, you will perish. But if through the power of the Holy Spirit you turn from it and its evil deeds, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.
15 So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God’s very own children, adopted into his family—calling him “Father, dear Father.” 16 For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God’s children. 17 And since we are his children, we will share his treasures—for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.
We’re making a little more sense now. I don’t HAVE to sin. Before I had Christ I HAD to sin, there was not other option, I was a slave. Now, I am God’s son.
So that’s where I am today. Still no answers to a few of my questions. Why do I sin when I know it’s wrong? Why am I weak in some areas, and strong in others, and how can I strengthen the weak parts.
But what I DO know, is that God is not condemning me. He’s my daddy, and He’s taking me fishing, even though I didn’t clean my room, and I should be grounded. He could ground me, he could spank me, but he’s forgiven me, not because I deserved it, but because he already took the punishment for my sin on himself.
He loves me, and He has given me the tools to live this life the right way. I just have to figure out what they are and how to use them.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Forgetting Who I am....
I’m frustrated… I’m tired… and I need to be renewed.
A blog is a journal. It’s a place to vent your feelings, to share your thoughts..
Reality TV changed the face of entertainment.. the everyday guy became the star. Then the blogosphere was invented.. and everyday people all around the world became “journalists” and their personal thoughts became public…
At the moment.. I’m realizing that I’m not the ONLY one in the world who is struggling where I am struggling… so I thought that I’d journal my thoughts publicly… open air thinking… online.. in front of you.. in the thought that it might help you, and it might help me.
Anyway.. back to me.. because it’s all about me right??? Or at least that’s what happens in my head sometimes…
I’ve gotten so selfish.. so busy, so distracted, that I’ve forgotten my place… I used to have this awesome place, where God talked to me everyday, and I saw him doing miracles, and me and the creator of the universe were best friends…
Somewhere along the way, Josh got focused on everything else but what matters. I’ve been neglecting my time alone with God. I’ve been too “busy” to pray… Sure, I’ve talked to God. I’ve been doing his work, I’ve even heard Him say, talk to this person about me… do this.. don’t do this… and for the most part, I’ve listened…
But I’ve been so focused on the things that don’t matter, that the things that do have been pushed aside.
Where is my passion? Where is the flame that used to burn in my heart to know God more? I remember days when I would take my lunch break, go sit and my car, and cry out to God, asking for more of Him, wanting to know Him better…
Like when I was first married to my wife and I couldn’t keep my hands off her…If I saw her across the room, I got the shivers… (sometimes I still do, of course..)
But where I’ve been with God the past few months, is in that place where God is sitting across the room from me, and I’m over here sitting in my rocking chair, doing my crossword puzzle, and He’s over there trying to get me to talk to Him. Trying to get me to play cards with Him, or go for a walk… just something TOGETHER…
God’s not the only one suffering here… Zoe and the kids miss me too. I can tell. I love them, we get together, we do stuff, but I’ve been pretty distant from everyone I love.
To be honest, Josh is just floating along, working hard at doing everything that seems so “important”, but matters so little…. And God has taken second place to business….
To be honest, my business really feels like idleness… like I’ve been late to dinner, because I was busy playing marbles in the driveway.
Why confess it here? Why bare my soul? Because I know I’m not alone in this. I know there are others struggling right alongside me. And I want to find wholeness, and not allow my foolish choices to go wasted. I want anyone out there who is struggling with this with me to grab me by the hand and walk with me back to an intimate relationship with God…
So I plan on posting my thoughts for awhile as I wrestle with this… feel free to comment your thoughts as well…
So last night, I read the Bible.. ouch… that’s been awhile since I really READ it.. and not just a verse or two in a “devotional”… I actually picked it up, and read it, and talked to God, and heard Him talk to me….
I really felt horrible, I was expecting God to beat me over the head and say, “Darn you Josh, I’m tired of you forgetting about me. Go away you stupid Kid.”
But instead, he said this..
Isa 54:7 I rejected you for a while, but with love and tenderness I will embrace you again.
Isa 54:8 For a while, I turned away in furious anger. Now I will have mercy and love you forever! I, your protector and LORD, make this promise."
Isa 54:9 I once promised Noah that I would never again destroy the earth by a flood. Now I have promised that I will never again get angry and punish you.
Isa 54:10 Every mountain and hill may disappear. But I will always be kind and merciful to you; I won't break my agreement to give your nation peace.
###
Isa 57:11 Did you forget about me and become unfaithful because you were more afraid of someone else? Have I been silent so long that you no longer fear me?
Isa 57:18 I know what you are like! But I will heal you, lead you, and give you comfort, until those who are mourning
Isa 57:19 start singing my praises. No matter where you are, I, the LORD, will heal you and give you peace. (CEV)
Thanks God… for loving me, even though I don’t deserve it. I know I’ve kinda put you on the back burner, and I know that you want me to take you off the stove entirely, and to let you nourish me…. You want to be at the front of my life. I’m sorry that I’ve let stress, and pressure, and deadlines, and tiredness, and excitement about everything and anything else get between us. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did. So come on in, don’t mind the mess, or rather, would you help me clean it up? Thanks.
A blog is a journal. It’s a place to vent your feelings, to share your thoughts..
Reality TV changed the face of entertainment.. the everyday guy became the star. Then the blogosphere was invented.. and everyday people all around the world became “journalists” and their personal thoughts became public…
At the moment.. I’m realizing that I’m not the ONLY one in the world who is struggling where I am struggling… so I thought that I’d journal my thoughts publicly… open air thinking… online.. in front of you.. in the thought that it might help you, and it might help me.
Anyway.. back to me.. because it’s all about me right??? Or at least that’s what happens in my head sometimes…
I’ve gotten so selfish.. so busy, so distracted, that I’ve forgotten my place… I used to have this awesome place, where God talked to me everyday, and I saw him doing miracles, and me and the creator of the universe were best friends…
Somewhere along the way, Josh got focused on everything else but what matters. I’ve been neglecting my time alone with God. I’ve been too “busy” to pray… Sure, I’ve talked to God. I’ve been doing his work, I’ve even heard Him say, talk to this person about me… do this.. don’t do this… and for the most part, I’ve listened…
But I’ve been so focused on the things that don’t matter, that the things that do have been pushed aside.
Where is my passion? Where is the flame that used to burn in my heart to know God more? I remember days when I would take my lunch break, go sit and my car, and cry out to God, asking for more of Him, wanting to know Him better…
Like when I was first married to my wife and I couldn’t keep my hands off her…If I saw her across the room, I got the shivers… (sometimes I still do, of course..)
But where I’ve been with God the past few months, is in that place where God is sitting across the room from me, and I’m over here sitting in my rocking chair, doing my crossword puzzle, and He’s over there trying to get me to talk to Him. Trying to get me to play cards with Him, or go for a walk… just something TOGETHER…
God’s not the only one suffering here… Zoe and the kids miss me too. I can tell. I love them, we get together, we do stuff, but I’ve been pretty distant from everyone I love.
To be honest, Josh is just floating along, working hard at doing everything that seems so “important”, but matters so little…. And God has taken second place to business….
To be honest, my business really feels like idleness… like I’ve been late to dinner, because I was busy playing marbles in the driveway.
Why confess it here? Why bare my soul? Because I know I’m not alone in this. I know there are others struggling right alongside me. And I want to find wholeness, and not allow my foolish choices to go wasted. I want anyone out there who is struggling with this with me to grab me by the hand and walk with me back to an intimate relationship with God…
So I plan on posting my thoughts for awhile as I wrestle with this… feel free to comment your thoughts as well…
So last night, I read the Bible.. ouch… that’s been awhile since I really READ it.. and not just a verse or two in a “devotional”… I actually picked it up, and read it, and talked to God, and heard Him talk to me….
I really felt horrible, I was expecting God to beat me over the head and say, “Darn you Josh, I’m tired of you forgetting about me. Go away you stupid Kid.”
But instead, he said this..
Isa 54:7 I rejected you for a while, but with love and tenderness I will embrace you again.
Isa 54:8 For a while, I turned away in furious anger. Now I will have mercy and love you forever! I, your protector and LORD, make this promise."
Isa 54:9 I once promised Noah that I would never again destroy the earth by a flood. Now I have promised that I will never again get angry and punish you.
Isa 54:10 Every mountain and hill may disappear. But I will always be kind and merciful to you; I won't break my agreement to give your nation peace.
###
Isa 57:11 Did you forget about me and become unfaithful because you were more afraid of someone else? Have I been silent so long that you no longer fear me?
Isa 57:18 I know what you are like! But I will heal you, lead you, and give you comfort, until those who are mourning
Isa 57:19 start singing my praises. No matter where you are, I, the LORD, will heal you and give you peace. (CEV)
Thanks God… for loving me, even though I don’t deserve it. I know I’ve kinda put you on the back burner, and I know that you want me to take you off the stove entirely, and to let you nourish me…. You want to be at the front of my life. I’m sorry that I’ve let stress, and pressure, and deadlines, and tiredness, and excitement about everything and anything else get between us. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did. So come on in, don’t mind the mess, or rather, would you help me clean it up? Thanks.
