Another thing I've been reading everyday in the One Year Bible, is the psalms. Boy can I relate to David and those guys... So this is what I read today:
Psalms 39
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- 39:1
- I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence."
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- 39:2
- But when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased.
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- 39:3
- My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue:
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- 39:4
- "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.
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- 39:5
- You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath. Selah
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- 39:6
- Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro: He bustles about, but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.
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- 39:7
- "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.
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- 39:8
- Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools.
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- 39:9
- I was silent; I would not open my mouth, for you are the one who has done this.
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- 39:10
- Remove your scourge from me; I am overcome by the blow of your hand.
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- 39:11
- You rebuke and discipline men for their sin; you consume their wealth like a moth-- each man is but a breath. Selah
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- 39:12
- "Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping. For I dwell with you as an alien, a stranger, as all my fathers were.
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- 39:13
- Look away from me, that I may rejoice again before I depart and am no more."
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Have you ever felt this way? Like, "Why did I say that..." and then felt horrible. I feel that way a lot... my stupid mouth. Apparently David did too:
I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence."
So, I've tried to just not say anything. Because anything I say is going to end up being sin, right? I will complain, gossip, slander, make fun of someone or whine. The list goes on... So then I'm just this wonderful stoic personality that everyone loves to be around, right? No, I'm a hypocrite, that loves to say, Praise God! instead of what I want to say. I'm someone who says everything's great, God is good! when I want to whine. So then I don't say anything. I praise God to myself and I don't share my feelings or thoughts with anyone but Him. I don't want to sin, right? Then David says:
- 39:2
- But when I was silent and still, not even saying anything good, my anguish increased.
- 39:3
- My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned; then I spoke with my tongue:
- 39:4
- "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.
- 39:5
- You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man's life is but a breath.
- You may say, David, man, you just need some Prozac. But really, maybe he and I are the only ones in the universe who has felt this way, but if you have you understand. If you share how you feel, how you're doing, you sin, if you don't share, you get pretty depressed.
- 39:7
- "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you.
This is what it comes down to. If I'm not pouring it out to God on a daily basis, then yes, I sin or hold it in. We were meant to share. And if we don't in any relationship, we lose intimacy. Try to keep a friendship going on a just "God is good!" basis. Or a marriage on a "How was work?" basis. You end up pretty shallow. And with God. If you just bring your laundry list and check out, you're going to wonder why you're wasting your time. And if it doesn't begin with Him, you pouring out those whines, gossips and complaints, He doesn't have time to set you straight with them before you say them. As Joyce Meyer would say: "Think about what you're thinking about." If I don't minute by minute pour out those things to God, they will come out of my mouth. And if they don't go through His filter, then we get impurities in our speech. The encouragements come through, even the real confessions come through. We are supposed to confess our sins to one another. I think our intention is a big factor. Why are we saying this to this person? Do they have anything to do with this situation? Or do I just want to vent... And if I vent to them, how will it affect them? Will confessing this to them keep me honest? Or do I not want to confess it because of pride... So does this mean I can be a real person with people without sinning? I don't know, but I'm gonna try...
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