Josh Hatcher's Blog
Friday, April 10, 2009
I'm a Bloody Mess...
It's Good Friday...
Every year this day comes around, and every year I miss it.
I honestly can't stand watching the passion of the christ (our church does it every year)
If I really stop and let the gravity of this day sink in.... it floors me.
It rips me open, leaving me wounded and hurting, as I realize just what all of my failures have accomplished.
The truth is, as I look at my life from early on until this moment...
I'm a lying, cheating, violent, lustful, bitter, glutton of a man who could care less about anyone but himself.
Now, there are moments when Jesus shines through...
but if you only knew who I was, what I did, and where my mind goes sometimes.
if you only knew that part of me that still clings on for dear life... begging and pleading to be let out of his cage so that he can hurt people, and hurt himself.
It is a beautiful thing to see what Jesus did for me... but it's so hard to see that person that I was... that sometimes I still am...
Galatians 2:20 (The Message)
19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Anything good you see in me is not me.
I'm a bloody mess.
The good things you see? They come because of what Jesus is doing in me. This crucifixion for me... it is something I must experience everyday.... because Josh Hatcher still lives in me. God made him special, and God loves him very much, and God saw the good that He had placed in him from the beginning, and God wanted to buy him back from the slavery he sold myself into... The fact remains that there are parts of me that need to be scourged and purged and killed to keep them in their proper place.
The rest of me is what God has bought back. What He paid for and rightfully owns. What He gave up everything so that it could be fixed... And at the end of all things, His redemptive work will be complete...
and in the meantime.... I'm a bloody mess...
Every year this day comes around, and every year I miss it.
I honestly can't stand watching the passion of the christ (our church does it every year)
If I really stop and let the gravity of this day sink in.... it floors me.
It rips me open, leaving me wounded and hurting, as I realize just what all of my failures have accomplished.
The truth is, as I look at my life from early on until this moment...
I'm a lying, cheating, violent, lustful, bitter, glutton of a man who could care less about anyone but himself.
Now, there are moments when Jesus shines through...
but if you only knew who I was, what I did, and where my mind goes sometimes.
if you only knew that part of me that still clings on for dear life... begging and pleading to be let out of his cage so that he can hurt people, and hurt himself.
It is a beautiful thing to see what Jesus did for me... but it's so hard to see that person that I was... that sometimes I still am...
Galatians 2:20 (The Message)
19-21What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.
Anything good you see in me is not me.
I'm a bloody mess.
The good things you see? They come because of what Jesus is doing in me. This crucifixion for me... it is something I must experience everyday.... because Josh Hatcher still lives in me. God made him special, and God loves him very much, and God saw the good that He had placed in him from the beginning, and God wanted to buy him back from the slavery he sold myself into... The fact remains that there are parts of me that need to be scourged and purged and killed to keep them in their proper place.
The rest of me is what God has bought back. What He paid for and rightfully owns. What He gave up everything so that it could be fixed... And at the end of all things, His redemptive work will be complete...
and in the meantime.... I'm a bloody mess...
Labels: good friday
